Tips and Thoughts

The more I travel, the more I learn about myself, other people, other cultures, and other communities. I learn easier ways to navigate all of these "others" that can seem intimidating at first. I hope some of my mistakes and triumphs while traveling can help you go abroad more confidently and successfully. 

Although this caption is a sad one, it is a very honest one. As someone who has now attended three universities on top of so much other traveling in my life, I have come to find that every trip, whether short or long, involves a "goodbye." When I went to Penn State University, my entire family flew out to Pennsylvania with me to help me move in. That "goodbye" was seemingly the hardest one I have had to endure so far in my life. There were lots of tears and long hugs. I thought the almost unbearable lonely feeling I had would never go away. I had never been away from my twin sister or my parents for more than 2 weeks so surviving 4 years at a university far from home felt impossible. Luckily, with the help of many FaceTime calls and the support of my new friendships, that sad feeling eventually became very small, almost unnoticeable, although some days could be harder than others. Going to Edinburgh, I did not expect to feel this way again. I am only studying abroad for 4 months, how could that compare to my Penn State "goodbyes?" I was luckier than most of my American study abroad friends to have my dad come with me to Edinburgh. My grandparents only live 4 hours away by train in a small town in England so we took the opportunity to stay with them a few days while here. My dad and I then came to Edinburgh so he could help me move in and get to the know the city a little bit. Then, we went back to England to see my grandparents one last time before my dad had to go home. Up until my last day with my dad, I had not really felt sad. Saying goodbye to my friends and family back at home was hard, but I knew that 4 months is not all that long and I kept thinking of some of the great adventures I have ahead. Saying goodbye to my dad, however, was a completely different story. I have lived with my dad for the last year. We have become best friends and good travel buddies, so having the realization that his trip was ending while mine continued without him made me feel very lonely. I have only seen my dad cry a handful of times in my life and it is equally as painful every time. We hugged goodbye on the train station platform in Hull, England before I made my way back to Edinburgh, this time alone. I don't think I have ever cried so much in one day. After 4 very long hours, I made it back to my dorm. The realization that I was completely alone in this country set in and I sat in my dorm as the last tears my body could possibly contain escaped my eyes. Thankfully for technology, I FaceTimed my friends and mom and sister back at home and each one had something new to tell me that eventually made me feel better. It was just the first night. I had felt this way before and ended up with lifelong friends in the end. I have so many adventures ahead of me during this time abroad and too many things to look forward to. I decided to message some girls I had met during orientation and asked if they wanted to meet up for breakfast before we joined in on the welcome week events. Only 24 hours later, I still miss my friends and family and home, but I am already more confident and excited about this journey. Through these processes, I have learned that it is okay to feel sad after the "goodbye" part of traveling. The "goodbyes" are bound to come, but they can serve as a reminder of all the incredible people that we have to cherish in our lives. After this allowed time of sadness, though, it is important to find ways to get involved in the new community. Starting new relationships while abroad is crucial to really getting the most out of traveling and moving away, and chances are other people are looking to make friends as well. The "goodbyes" are hard, but the "hellos" that follow might be life changing. 

This morning, we learned a very valuable lesson while traveling. Aidan and Madeline and I went to Milan, Italy this weekend and had a fantastic time! However, our journey home was a bit stressful! Our flight was at 8:25 a.m. this morning so last night before bed we made a game plan for the morning. We honestly didn't put too much thought into it. Our journey would consist of a walk to the metro station and then a 25ish minute metro ride to the train station and then a 45 minute train ride to the airport. Last night we had passed by the metro stop we would need this morning so we thought we were all set. We decided to wake up at 5:30 and leave by 6:00. This would have left us plenty of time had everything gone smoothly. However, we have learned that when traveling you have to accept that nothing is going to go 100% smoothly. We left on time and got to the train station with plenty of time, except that the metro stop we got off at was the wrong train station! Apparently there were two train stations. At first, this didn't seem like a problem. We would just take the train from this station to the airport. However, trains to where you need to go are on their own time schedule, and we had just missed the last train that would go to the airport in the time we needed. Immediately I was panicking and trying to stay calm so we could figure out a new plan. Madeline knew that there were buses going to the airport so we decided to try that. We found the bus stop where the driver told us we would arrive to the airport by 7:35, only 50 minutes before out flight. Luckily, European airports are much faster than American airports so we thought this would suffice and was really our only option. We paid the 10 euros and climbed aboard. For a little while, I calmed down thinking we now had plenty of time, but once it got to 7:20 and we hit some bad traffic I was back to panic. Madeline stayed optimistic having been through a similar situation before. She was confident we would make it, but I wasn't so sure. We got to the airport 10 minutes before our gate closed! We ran through the terminal begging people to let us cut them in the security line. We found out through this experience that Italians are very forgiving. One woman even cheered us on, wishing us good luck. We flew through security and sprinted to our gate, which of course had to be the last one. Although we were the last to check in, we made our flight! When we were finally sat in our seats and all was well, I joked with the girls saying I don't know how I would have explained this to my dad had we missed our flight because he taught me the 7 P's when I was younger: Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance. I have vowed now that I will allow an extra hour than what I think I will need to get to an airport when traveling because I would prefer to have a coffee and plenty of time than experience our fiasco this morning. 

I don't know if it is the fact that I am reading Eat, Pray, Love right now or the fact that I am the happiest I think I have ever been in my life or maybe it is that I am full and relaxed after an entire weekend at my grandparents' house in Hull, but I have come to a big conclusion about life as I sit here on the train back to Edinburgh. Here it is:

Everything works out in the end.

Historically, I am a major worrier. That flutter in your chest and instant sweaty dizzying feeling of anxiety is a frequent sensation for me; it is almost a daily one. I worry that I forgot to lock my room or that my keys are no longer in the pocket of my backpack that I know I put them in or that I forgot to close the garage door or that I haven't turned all my assignments in for the week or that my keys are that I am going to be late to whatever appointment, class or event I have on my calendar. This anxious feeling has only grown stronger as I have been traveling. In addition to all these continuous stresses, I worry about getting to the airport on time or that my flight will get cancelled or that my first train won't make it in time for me to get on my connecting one. Unfortunately, these ones are entirely out of my control and do happen. On Friday, when I left for my grandparents, my train from Edinburgh to York was delayed. By the time I got to York, my train to Hull should have left already. It was raining and cold outside and I was attempting not to panic. I asked one of the railway employees what to do and he said the next train to Hull was leaving in thirty minutes and then he dismissed me and my "insignificant" problem. When I looked at the departures board, though, it said there was a train to Hull leaving in five minutes. I returned to the same employee apologetically and asked him about the train that was leaving now in 4 minutes. His response was an uncaring, "You can take it if you can get to the platform in time." So I turned on one heel without saying a word and ran through the train station. I hopped on the train and, after the train had already left, asked one of the employees onboard if I was on the train calling at Hull. Thankfully, I was and I got to my grandparents only 10 minutes later than I was expected. Now fast forward, after my relaxing weekend at the grandparents, to today. I got on my train from Hull to York on time, but the train was late coming in again and this time I really did miss my connection. I panicked and my typical response, to call my dad and ask him what I should do, kicked in, except that there was no wifi. I took a minute, collected myself, and found the nearest railway employee. She informed me that unfortunately the next train to Edinburgh was in just over an hour, but that I would be fine to board it, even with the wrong ticket. Although I did have to wait in the cold for over an hour, I am finally on my way to Edinburgh and will be safe and sound in my dorm soon. Before I came to this revelation, my dad texted me about another inconvenience in my life, one not necessarily important enough to write about here, but still an event that got me feeling all sweaty and dizzy with anxiety for the second time today. However, this time, although I still have that anxious feeling, it is a different one because I feel calm as well. I am stressed about it, but not in an incapacitating sort of way. Something has changed. I have all the faith that this problem in my life is going to be all worked put. I want to thank traveling for this revelation. It doesn't mean that I won't continue to feel that anxious sensation anymore, but I have come to realize things do just work out. I am never going to be left with an unresolved problem. Some might take more time than others to work themselves out, but there is no problem, at least not one I can think of at this moment, that could occur that won't eventually be resolved. There will always be another train or plane. If my keys were lost, they could be replaced. If I was late, I'd forget all about it by the end of the event, or at least by next week. All I need to remember to do is take a deep breath when I get anxious and remember everything is going to be okay.